That means I believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe in being led by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14).
I believe in not letting your personality dictate your actions, mood and general disposition. I believe in being conformed to Christ. I believe in having a mind-like Christ. I believe in having a Spirit-led temperament.
But sometimes it’s really hard.
I am an INTJ. For those who don’t know what that means, it is a personality type; one of the 16 Myers Briggs personality types. Each of those 4 letters stands for an aspect of one’s personality. I am going to focus on the T.
I am a Thinker. That’s what T stands for. The opposite of T is F.
F stands for Feeling.
I am a T, and I believe my T is worrying me.
I don’t get the book of Psalms. I’ve tried. I really have. That might be the problem, trying to to think through a book that is largely a feel book.
I once watched a youtube video on the Psalms. That lady in the video said, “The Psalms are easy to love.” I arched my brow in response.
Then she said, “It can be easy to run to the Psalms ad feel all the feels…”
I responded, “Is that so? Not my experience…”
To be fair to the lady, she was critiquing that mindset. She went on to talk about how to meticulously go through the Psalms and gain deeper benefit from them.
It was helpful and I am grateful.
However, there remain lingering doubts.
David wrote a large part of the book of Psalms, and he was said to the man after God’s heart. So if I don’t get them. What am I?
I am afraid (or I was afraid) that I cannot feel and understand the love of God; and that I cannot express this love towards others.
All because of T…and maybe N. I think the N is part…and maybe the J too. You know what? It’s the entire thing. The entire INTJ.
I have found answers now though.
Ephesians 2:10- I am a masterpiece, created by the Master. Additionally, I was created for good works.
Romans 5:5- The love of God is poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit. I realize I am attempting works. I am trying to, by my own strength, “think God.” That’s wrong. The Holy Spirit is the counsellor, comforter, helper. How silly it is to strive and strive to grasp infinity when infinity lives inside me and is willing to help
1 Corinthians 12 (all of it)- Paul talks about us being the body of Christ. Some are feet. Others are ears and hands and noses etc.
There are roughly 8 billion of us currently. 8 billion unique masterpieces.
Maybe I’m a neuron in the body of Christ, humming with electric current. Thinking.
What is important is that there is no schism (verse 25) and that I care for others in the body (also verse 25). So maybe should stop trying to be an eye.
Lastly, I have figured out a way to feel the Psalms. I do this by focusing on individual lines. Take a line and meditate on it. Think on it till it becomes a part of you and you start to feel it.
Also, I have my own Psalms. My own songs (kinda). One of my favourite songs is “Behold” by Hillsong Worship.
My favourite line is:
“behold I have a FRIEND
THE SPIRIT breathing holy fire within
my ever present HELP
speaking TRUTH when I can’t find it”
I feel that/ I feel that in my entire being. One of the truths the Spirit speaks to me is “You’re okay.”
So yeah, I THINK I am fine.
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